3/21/12

Unmet Expectations: How to avoid them in Marriage

By Alex Shant


Marriage is a very great part of a man and a woman's life. It is the period to a long life of singleness and being dependent to your parents while it is a start to build of a future on your own with a new partner. Before men and women get married, they usually enumerate their goals as a couple. They dictate dreams and ideals together; having a wonderful house or a condominium, having a awesome car and having children that look good with a good school so the both of you can fetch them.

However, not all marriage turn out the way we wanted. In fact, most of marriage to not end up as expected. Instead of having that wonderful house fully furnished with great furniture's, bed and the gazebo, you end up in an apartment renting while your salary wasted on bills because of too many loans. Instead of having the wonderful car you have always wanted, you end up a major commuter riding a train to work. Instead of having children, you end up without babies while your husband is put meddling around with other women.

Expectations are worst when broken and false. It forms into a whole so dark that not even the most compacted cement can close it. It is for this reason that men and women should avoid giving to many expectations before marriage. The only way to avoid not meeting expectations is to not give expectations at all. It is particularly okay to have dreams and wish for things in the future but never promise too much to your partner or give him high hopes. Same as true with men, never promise a better life to your women especially if you know that these dreams are very hard to get. Stay clenched to the ground as you plan your future ahead of you.

Another thing that you can also do to avoid not meeting expectations is to show your partner that you are a simple man or woman. Thinking too much about material things will give him an impression that you want nice things and that he should give you nice things, too. But when he cannot give you nice things, you end up being sad because you expected him to give you nice things.

The most important thing is to be superficial in things. Put a limit on wants and focus on the needs. This will make your life easier as a couple.




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The Significance of Time in Marriage

By Alex Shant


Time is very important in whatever aspect of our lives. As the cliche says, time is gold or life is too short. In other words, we as human beings should have the time of our lives while we are still alive. Putting that context into the marriage life, we have to make sure that we have enough time for our family and for our husbands.

Women, in marriage, sometimes inevitably neglect their partners. This is because they are too preoccupied taking care of so many issues in the household and attending to their kids. When a person is neglected, he will build self defense and also neglect the person who neglected him as a response. When this happens, the relationship falters. In effect, marriage will become boring, less fun and will not flow like how marriage should. Couples end up fighting. They end up naming issues and problems just to make the other person notice them.

This is the reason why, as women, we should have time for our husbands and likewise, husbands should have time for us. It is actually not difficult to achieve. Neglecting your partner is basically because of time issues. Therefore, the only solution to the problem is making time. Budgeting the time for your career, family and husband is not easy but can be done. You can also ask your husband to share parts of the kid's chores so that the two of you can spend some romance together. If he agrees, then it means he is a very good husband. A husband that is willing to compromise just to make your relationship work and make your family better.

When you're career gets in the way of time, the best solution to it is to not be so entangled by work task. It is very good to be so passionate with work but when this comes in the way of your marriage life, and then it means you have to mellow down a bit with being too serious with professional obligations rather than matters of your long lasting relationship.

Promotions will come because of the nature of your work capacity and enthusiasm and not how much time you spend on your desk.




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Knowing If He Really Likes Your or Not

By Alex Shant


Does he like you or are you just pushing it? Sometimes, girls can be very assuming that a guy likes them when actually what he really wants is just to be friends with you. Some guys are just sweet which is sometimes misleading to some women. Like women, men do not consider all women to be their love interest. Sometimes, they just want to be friends with them and flirt with them merely for that purpose. This is particularly okay even if some people do not like this kind of attitude. In fact, being flirty, nice and open to a person is very valid because of human nature which is always longing for affection and inspiration.

Before you assume that a guy likes you, first make sure if he really does like you. Here are some factors signaling that he likes you or not. Does he notice you in a crowd? Make sure that he does and that he notices you and you alone because if he also notices a lot of women, then it means he just merely friendly.

Does he treat you in a different way when you are alone together? This is a major factor in determining if he likes you or not. Change in character no matter how small and big matters a lot. When he becomes really awkward, silent, loud or extremely talkative and happy when you are together, it means that he likes you a lot. Asking you about your history especially your love life means that he is interested to know you better. He could make you a prospect love interests. Although it may also mean that he just wants something to talk about.

Does he always ask if you are okay? Being extra caring is also a sign that he likes you. Men do not usually show their true feelings because they do not want to be visible. In effect, they act aloft as if they do not care about you.

For this reason, if a man asks you of your whereabouts or if he asks you if you are okay, it may be a great sign that he is interested considering the fact that he may have gathered a lot of energy before really asking you about your condition.




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How to deal with Apprehensions of Marriage

By Alex Shant


Marriage is a grandest step two couples have to go through. In fact, it is the ultimate test of how strong they are and how strong they will be. This is the reason why most couples are afraid to settle down. It is not just the marriage per se that they are afraid of. It is the entirety of the situation and the aftermath of it that couples are so anxious about.

The question is, how do they go about with this leap in their relationship flawlessly? How will couples survive the anxiousness of marriage? How will they be able to pursue the Wedding bells realizing that they made the best choice ever in their entire life? The process is actually very easy and quick. The key to a successful pre-marriage are Diversion, Excitement and a little seduction.

Once he pops the proposal and you said yes, the first thing you have to do is go for a diversion. Do not think about it too much. There are two things that will happen if a man thinks too much. First, he will be too happy and second, he will be too tired to be contented. In effect, control your emotions in such a way that you do not explode too much. Save those emotions on your wedding day itself. How do you divert you attention then? You can go shop, go out with your friends or work. Whichever works for you.

After saving enough of your happiness, shed our some excitement by going out with small dates with your fianc. Make the dates as effortless as possible. These dates have to be the type that feels like you just hit it off as boyfriend and girlfriends.

These ways, you will have more time to reminisce about your past and be inspired for the present. Talk about your game plans as husbands and wives during these dates. Make sure you go through an agreement. Never argue, if you see it coming, stop the conversation. Throw little seduction prior to marriage. You can wear those skimpy two piece swimsuit while on your swimming dates.




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