Along with all the lofty media-generated sexual stereotypes , along with all the meanings that get linked to sexual performance (for example, personal value, barometer of love), it's astonishing that anyone is able to perform in bed, considering all the outside pressure out there. In fact, as has been noted, "Sex is perfectly natural... but none's naturally good at it!" If we shoot for perfection, we'll be disappointed with our partner's performance or our own performance (or both of them). We'll concern ourselves about our "tool" and our capability to use it. The unfortunate paradox is that the more we worry about being perfect, the less likely we are to get anywhere close to that point! And it's not only concern about performance; general stress or other worries can also impact performance in bed.
Among specialists it is generally acknowledged that a man with P.E. usually are a bit more anxious in general, or at a minimum more concerned about their sexual ability than men are who demonstrate better control. Unfortunately, if a man with general anxiety is quick and begins worrying about his quickness, he may come even faster than before and start a negative cycle. The quicker he finishes, the more he worries about it, and the more he worries the faster he'll finish. His self-control begins to vanish.
If, as ejaculatory control slips away, one partner shows reluctance to initiate, fearing another unintentional quickie, that partner may start actively avoiding sex with the other partner. When their encounters do last long, there is both anxiety and excitement... that potent and destructive combination that creates havoc in the bedroom.
Years ago I had seen a young college student in my office who had came to me complaining about issues with rapid ejaculation. I asked what is usually one of the first things i asked: "How quickly are you reaching orgasm?" At first, I thought he'd misunderstood my question when he began telling me about an exam he had taken. "On the day of a test, I usually wake up feeling anxious. While I am waiting in the classroom, I can feel my apprehension building. As the professor begins to tell the class about the exam, my hands begin to sweat and I become nervous as a nightmare. As he passes out the exam papers, placing them face down on each of our desks, it feels as though my heart is about to jump out from my chest. Then as he goes back to the front side of the class and says 'OK, it's time to turn your papers over and begin/ I turn my test paper over and COME!" Now that's got to be the fastest gun in the West!
I think the activation of this college student's ejaculatory reflex by explosive test anxiety is just another example of the point that anxiety is a contributory factor to premature ejaculation. Since anxiety is a kind of mobilizing energy responding to some intuitive sense of possible danger, it might be that nature has built us to get off faster when the danger is most imminent. As nervousness mounts, Mother Nature might just be leaning in close to whisper in our ear, " Finish the job now so you can protect your butt!" Remember, anxiety may sound the alarm and increase our preparedness to respond, but panic has a much more harmful potential.
Among specialists it is generally acknowledged that a man with P.E. usually are a bit more anxious in general, or at a minimum more concerned about their sexual ability than men are who demonstrate better control. Unfortunately, if a man with general anxiety is quick and begins worrying about his quickness, he may come even faster than before and start a negative cycle. The quicker he finishes, the more he worries about it, and the more he worries the faster he'll finish. His self-control begins to vanish.
If, as ejaculatory control slips away, one partner shows reluctance to initiate, fearing another unintentional quickie, that partner may start actively avoiding sex with the other partner. When their encounters do last long, there is both anxiety and excitement... that potent and destructive combination that creates havoc in the bedroom.
Years ago I had seen a young college student in my office who had came to me complaining about issues with rapid ejaculation. I asked what is usually one of the first things i asked: "How quickly are you reaching orgasm?" At first, I thought he'd misunderstood my question when he began telling me about an exam he had taken. "On the day of a test, I usually wake up feeling anxious. While I am waiting in the classroom, I can feel my apprehension building. As the professor begins to tell the class about the exam, my hands begin to sweat and I become nervous as a nightmare. As he passes out the exam papers, placing them face down on each of our desks, it feels as though my heart is about to jump out from my chest. Then as he goes back to the front side of the class and says 'OK, it's time to turn your papers over and begin/ I turn my test paper over and COME!" Now that's got to be the fastest gun in the West!
I think the activation of this college student's ejaculatory reflex by explosive test anxiety is just another example of the point that anxiety is a contributory factor to premature ejaculation. Since anxiety is a kind of mobilizing energy responding to some intuitive sense of possible danger, it might be that nature has built us to get off faster when the danger is most imminent. As nervousness mounts, Mother Nature might just be leaning in close to whisper in our ear, " Finish the job now so you can protect your butt!" Remember, anxiety may sound the alarm and increase our preparedness to respond, but panic has a much more harmful potential.
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