The role of parent is one of the most demanding jobs there is and today, with all the various family structures, you have to really keep an open mind. It's true that some marriages last for life, but this is happening less and less as time goes on. This means, among other things, that it's very likely you'll find yourself raising step children at some point. If you read this article carefully and take the tips here to heart, your path to becoming a successful stepparent will be made easier.
The age of your stepchildren will play an important role in defining your relationship with them. If the child is very young, a toddler or even younger, then it's very likely that the child will eventually think of you as their "real" parent. When you are considering marrying someone who already has children, it's important to think seriously about what your responsibilities will be ahead of time. If your step-kids are older, you will most likely become their friend rather than a parent. Are your step-kids in their teens? If so, your spouse will most likely keep the role as parent and you will have an ancillary role as friend. The interactions in every family are different. The ages of the stepchildren will be pivotal to how you interact with them.
It often takes a great deal of patience to be a step parent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. You have to empathize with the child, as they will most likely miss their bio parent, whether they lost him or her through divorce or death. It's very common for a stepchild to resent the new "intruder" into their life. It's important to continue to patiently advance your efforts to bond with the child, but you have to be careful not to be too aggressive. If you make it clear that you're available to help them out but that you're not trying to replace their original parent, they'll gradually open up to you.
When you're a step parent, the role of the original biological parent can be a sensitive issue. This is even the case if the original parent has died. He or she will still have a place in your stepchild's heart. In the case of a separation or divorce, when your new partner may have conflicting feelings about the biological parent, this can be tricky. It's not your place to state an opinion about a natural parent who mistreated the kids. You should stay neutral on the subject or even be a little positive if you must say something. Whatever part the biological parent played in the lives of your stepchildren, you have to respect the kids right to keep their own version of their memories.
For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. The step parent, even though he or she is not the bio mom or dad, they need to be able to share their opinion with what is occurring in the children's lives. To show the step children that both parents are on the same page, discussions that are heated need to be discussed in private. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. The above tips can be useful to make this transition easier, but you also need the ability to be flexible and go with the flow in a new family environment. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.
One potent approach to keep the family in good relationships would be to travel frequently. You'll find that families which have the best relationships are families that go on frequent trips together. Start planning your next holiday today, so you can easily reinforce your family ties.
The age of your stepchildren will play an important role in defining your relationship with them. If the child is very young, a toddler or even younger, then it's very likely that the child will eventually think of you as their "real" parent. When you are considering marrying someone who already has children, it's important to think seriously about what your responsibilities will be ahead of time. If your step-kids are older, you will most likely become their friend rather than a parent. Are your step-kids in their teens? If so, your spouse will most likely keep the role as parent and you will have an ancillary role as friend. The interactions in every family are different. The ages of the stepchildren will be pivotal to how you interact with them.
It often takes a great deal of patience to be a step parent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. You have to empathize with the child, as they will most likely miss their bio parent, whether they lost him or her through divorce or death. It's very common for a stepchild to resent the new "intruder" into their life. It's important to continue to patiently advance your efforts to bond with the child, but you have to be careful not to be too aggressive. If you make it clear that you're available to help them out but that you're not trying to replace their original parent, they'll gradually open up to you.
When you're a step parent, the role of the original biological parent can be a sensitive issue. This is even the case if the original parent has died. He or she will still have a place in your stepchild's heart. In the case of a separation or divorce, when your new partner may have conflicting feelings about the biological parent, this can be tricky. It's not your place to state an opinion about a natural parent who mistreated the kids. You should stay neutral on the subject or even be a little positive if you must say something. Whatever part the biological parent played in the lives of your stepchildren, you have to respect the kids right to keep their own version of their memories.
For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. The step parent, even though he or she is not the bio mom or dad, they need to be able to share their opinion with what is occurring in the children's lives. To show the step children that both parents are on the same page, discussions that are heated need to be discussed in private. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. The above tips can be useful to make this transition easier, but you also need the ability to be flexible and go with the flow in a new family environment. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.
One potent approach to keep the family in good relationships would be to travel frequently. You'll find that families which have the best relationships are families that go on frequent trips together. Start planning your next holiday today, so you can easily reinforce your family ties.
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