My other half, Hope, once asked me, "What do you do for me that isn't attached to anything else?" Just me.
Well.
In case you are almost convinced to feel just like Hope's inquiry is self-occupied in nature, you should know that Hope does more with me under consideration "just me "than I'll list in this short post. She is not inconsiderate. She also knows when she needs something and asks for it. On top of being a giving, caring partner, she also knows the proper way to speak out.
At any rate, if you can not answer Hope's query as applied to your own relationship, maybe you want to express the caring part of you more of the time and consider whether or not you are being egocentric. This is what I am working on. My life coach, Nancy Slocum, helped me today to ratify that the issue isn't whether I care for or love my better half, but how I express it. Do I express my caring regularly? How so? Do I express it in a way that Hope resonates with?
Thru the coaching session I also bumped into 2 revelations into what makes men egocentric (translated: how I make myself self-absorbed). Here they are:
Emotional Resistance. Doing for others does occur to me. I'll be sitting at my desk typing away and the thought will come: I could do X for Hope. Or: It would be nice if I got up and did the dishes now. Then, back to typing. I feel the resistance to extending myself settle in like an emotional net that constricts my awareness and keeps me focused on what I want to do rather than what I'd like to do for others. You could call this self-justification. You could just call it slackness.
Pessimism. What's the point? Life can never be so amazing that we all live in joy with each other anyway. I can just do what I desire and let the chips fall where they may. Most things end in failure and life ends in death, hence why make the effort? This drastic line of thinking is perilous for relations, I know. A large amount of men carry such pessimism and its a perfect reason to not care about vital elements of your life. Are you able to face it inside yourself?
Lack of Vision. Nancy asked me today, "Mike, what is your goal or vision for your marriage?" You know, I've been studying and teaching NLP and personal growth for over 20 years and it never ceases to dazzle me how I am able to always find areas in my life where the elementals are lacking. I can't say that I have got super clear about on a vision for my primary relationship. Fantastic! Opening to the chance of creating a positive vision for wedding and moving towards it is currently a manifest necessity, whereas I suppose prior to today I was inspired by merely avoiding the negative outcomes by default. This opens a whole new world of likelihood.
Deserving. As I express my caring more consistently and in ways which Hope resonates with, I'll rationally expect to get more caring in turn. Do I merit it? I had never considered that question before Nancy asked it today. My co-worker Jake Eagle used to remind me that I'm able to create anything I desire in my life. If I want chums, I will focus in being a good buddy. If I want to make more money, I will start to create more value for people. If I want more Yuletide presents, I can begin giving more.
Creating more is not complex. Give more and you will receive more. Feeling like you deserve more is an engaging phenomenon to consider as a motivating factor.
Those are my thoughts on what makes men selfish. Now I want to stop typing
Well.
In case you are almost convinced to feel just like Hope's inquiry is self-occupied in nature, you should know that Hope does more with me under consideration "just me "than I'll list in this short post. She is not inconsiderate. She also knows when she needs something and asks for it. On top of being a giving, caring partner, she also knows the proper way to speak out.
At any rate, if you can not answer Hope's query as applied to your own relationship, maybe you want to express the caring part of you more of the time and consider whether or not you are being egocentric. This is what I am working on. My life coach, Nancy Slocum, helped me today to ratify that the issue isn't whether I care for or love my better half, but how I express it. Do I express my caring regularly? How so? Do I express it in a way that Hope resonates with?
Thru the coaching session I also bumped into 2 revelations into what makes men egocentric (translated: how I make myself self-absorbed). Here they are:
Emotional Resistance. Doing for others does occur to me. I'll be sitting at my desk typing away and the thought will come: I could do X for Hope. Or: It would be nice if I got up and did the dishes now. Then, back to typing. I feel the resistance to extending myself settle in like an emotional net that constricts my awareness and keeps me focused on what I want to do rather than what I'd like to do for others. You could call this self-justification. You could just call it slackness.
Pessimism. What's the point? Life can never be so amazing that we all live in joy with each other anyway. I can just do what I desire and let the chips fall where they may. Most things end in failure and life ends in death, hence why make the effort? This drastic line of thinking is perilous for relations, I know. A large amount of men carry such pessimism and its a perfect reason to not care about vital elements of your life. Are you able to face it inside yourself?
Lack of Vision. Nancy asked me today, "Mike, what is your goal or vision for your marriage?" You know, I've been studying and teaching NLP and personal growth for over 20 years and it never ceases to dazzle me how I am able to always find areas in my life where the elementals are lacking. I can't say that I have got super clear about on a vision for my primary relationship. Fantastic! Opening to the chance of creating a positive vision for wedding and moving towards it is currently a manifest necessity, whereas I suppose prior to today I was inspired by merely avoiding the negative outcomes by default. This opens a whole new world of likelihood.
Deserving. As I express my caring more consistently and in ways which Hope resonates with, I'll rationally expect to get more caring in turn. Do I merit it? I had never considered that question before Nancy asked it today. My co-worker Jake Eagle used to remind me that I'm able to create anything I desire in my life. If I want chums, I will focus in being a good buddy. If I want to make more money, I will start to create more value for people. If I want more Yuletide presents, I can begin giving more.
Creating more is not complex. Give more and you will receive more. Feeling like you deserve more is an engaging phenomenon to consider as a motivating factor.
Those are my thoughts on what makes men selfish. Now I want to stop typing
About the Author:
Ron Duphin offers NLP certification at iNLP Center, an NLP training online resource.
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