11/9/11

Why He Closes Off After the Break Up

By Mika Maddela


So you and your boyfriend split up. That's a difficult thing to deal with. After a break up it is not unusual to have your thoughts flooded with all kinds of unanswered questions that you're just craving to get answered.

Things like why he left, what you did wrong, why he doesn't want to work the relationship out, etc.

But why would he just pull away so much when you have all these questions? Why can't he take some time to truly explain what occurred and what's happening in his mind to you?

Well, here I would like to explain the largest reason which explains why guys pull back following a break up.

It is due to the fact, you have got to understand the most important reason why all relationships break up. It is due to the fact one individual in the relationship wants space away from the other person or from the relationship itself.

Isn't that truly why he broke up with you? Wasn't it because he wanted space away from either you or the relationship?

Well, if that's the case, when you keep asking him questions, trying hard to get closure, or otherwise reaching out to him, it's really not respecting his request for space.

In fact it's quite the reverse.

This makes him feel that you don't actually understand his need for space, and he feels like he should keep pulling away more from you to get that space. If you do not give him this space, he'll just keep on pulling away till he's wholly out of your life for good.

Hence if you have any interest at all in learning how to get your boyfriend back, keeping him as a friend, or remaining in contact in any fashion, I'd highly recommend you give him the space he is asking for.

I know it's hard when you have all those questions in your consciousness but for the moment, you'll just have to let those questions stay there. You might be in a position to get the answers you want from him later , but for now find a way to go on without them.

For the moment, focus on your own life as an alternative. Take time to do things which make you happy and you enjoy. These will help you to feel good about life regardless of the split up and they will make healing a lot simpler on you also.

When you have had the time to bounce back from the break up and you have given your ex-boyfriend a bit of time to get that space he wants, you can try reopening the communication channels between the two of you.




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