Isn't it interesting how many times people are given unfair labels just because they are dating. For example, a girl who is being cautious and safe is called "frigid". A man who is being pro-active is called a "player". All they want to do though, is find and date partners at their own pace.
There are so many labels out there that sometimes I am amazed anyone still wants to date. Also, as these labels can be hurtful, they can change the way you make your decisions when dating, putting you in an uncomfortable or even dangerous situation.
In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment - the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was "Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don't understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him "playing"."
Why is it that a man who is interested at improving himself romantically, who discusses his experiences with the intent on improving himself, is labelled a "player"?
Women are renowned for sharing their romantic experiences. They get together in little groups and share, learning from each others experiences and advising each other. Many don't realise this, but there are also groups of men who get together to share and learn from each other. Its a rare, lets face it, men are not supposed to talk about that stuff are they?
As women tend to discuss things much more openly and honestly among themselves, they are much better situated to learn about men, than men are to learn about women. Women can learn from each others experiences whereas men must learn from their own experiences only.
There tends to be two reasons why this situation arises. The first is because men, in their groups of mates, tend to be very competitive leading to displays of bravado. Also, men can feel that by speaking to their mates about what really is going on, they are somehow "betraying" their dating partner. After all, "a gentleman never kisses and tells".
This is a big issue. Learning about dating, women and romance through open communication with like minded men will mean you will obtain the knowledge to create a more harmonious dating experience. Its a win-win situation, no-one is worse off. You discuss openly, you learn from the honest sharing of ideas, you become wise and through the application of that wisdom, you create joy. Its important men learn to do this for both themselves and the women they love. Yet strangely, the men who do this already are called "players".
So, if you are a man and understand exactly what we are saying here, you need to realise that if you are genuinely interested in self improvement in the romantic part of your life, if you want to understand women better and interact with them in a more mutually beneficial way, you are not a player. You are human and you are allowed to discuss this with other men. As long as you are being honest and compassionate to your partner, you are actually doing a good thing.
There are so many labels out there that sometimes I am amazed anyone still wants to date. Also, as these labels can be hurtful, they can change the way you make your decisions when dating, putting you in an uncomfortable or even dangerous situation.
In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment - the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was "Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don't understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him "playing"."
Why is it that a man who is interested at improving himself romantically, who discusses his experiences with the intent on improving himself, is labelled a "player"?
Women are renowned for sharing their romantic experiences. They get together in little groups and share, learning from each others experiences and advising each other. Many don't realise this, but there are also groups of men who get together to share and learn from each other. Its a rare, lets face it, men are not supposed to talk about that stuff are they?
As women tend to discuss things much more openly and honestly among themselves, they are much better situated to learn about men, than men are to learn about women. Women can learn from each others experiences whereas men must learn from their own experiences only.
There tends to be two reasons why this situation arises. The first is because men, in their groups of mates, tend to be very competitive leading to displays of bravado. Also, men can feel that by speaking to their mates about what really is going on, they are somehow "betraying" their dating partner. After all, "a gentleman never kisses and tells".
This is a big issue. Learning about dating, women and romance through open communication with like minded men will mean you will obtain the knowledge to create a more harmonious dating experience. Its a win-win situation, no-one is worse off. You discuss openly, you learn from the honest sharing of ideas, you become wise and through the application of that wisdom, you create joy. Its important men learn to do this for both themselves and the women they love. Yet strangely, the men who do this already are called "players".
So, if you are a man and understand exactly what we are saying here, you need to realise that if you are genuinely interested in self improvement in the romantic part of your life, if you want to understand women better and interact with them in a more mutually beneficial way, you are not a player. You are human and you are allowed to discuss this with other men. As long as you are being honest and compassionate to your partner, you are actually doing a good thing.
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At our dating site - Important dating advice for him and information about Australian Dating Sites. This article, Are You A Player, Or Just Someone Who Wants To Date Better? is released under a creative commons attribution license.
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