If your man cheated on you, I'm sincerely sorry to hear that. I know oh so well how painful it can be to have your husband cheat on you. But regularly the hardest thing is handling the haunting pictures that seem to endlessly play through your mind twenty four seven and lead you to feel awful.
What are you able to do to stop this damaging thought process and get back in control over your own mind?
Well, I'd like to share with you something that is amazingly simple, but many individuals do not realize, and that is what is responsible for all negative feelings.
Whenever you feel a bad emotion (and I do mean any negative emotion), it is actually because you are concentrating your mind on what you do not desire.
You see, when you concentrate your mind on what you don't desire, you are imagining what you don't want and creating images of it in your thoughts. This just reaffirms those haunting pictures of your husband with another lady, as an example.
Even if you are trying to avoid or push away the bad thoughts, you're still focusing on the negative outcomes (and therefore only adding fuel to the fire). As an example, if you decide that you would like to avoid feeling hurt again, your mind must first imagine what it is like to be hurt so that you can avoid it.
This is how thinking about what you do not desire creates negative emotions.
If you would like to stop this self-perpetuating cycle and end the painful feelings and betrayal, you want to instead change your focus to what you do desire.
Rather than avoiding agony and suffering, you almost certainly want something like contentment, or a loving relationship. Begin to ask what it would be like to feel happy or to feel loved.
This causes your brain to start imagining all the details of what contentment and love would be like in your life.
This is how you take your focus off of the negative and put it on the positive.
First, you recognize you are focusing on what you don't want.
Then you stop and ask yourself, "Okay, if this is what I don't want, what do I want?"
Then you start to concentrate on what you do want.
This is going to be challenging initially, since the negative emotions you are experiencing have a sort of inertial of their own. But just like exercising a muscle, this may become simpler with practice and you can start to end the painful emotions and appalling thoughts that rush through your brain after your spouse's affair.
You can start to notice whether or not you are concentrating on what you want or what you do not want, and when you happen to notice your focus on something you do not want, you can begin to intentionally change it to something that you do want. With continued practice, you can start to move your life in a positive direction that may help build a foundation for happiness and love in the future.
What are you able to do to stop this damaging thought process and get back in control over your own mind?
Well, I'd like to share with you something that is amazingly simple, but many individuals do not realize, and that is what is responsible for all negative feelings.
Whenever you feel a bad emotion (and I do mean any negative emotion), it is actually because you are concentrating your mind on what you do not desire.
You see, when you concentrate your mind on what you don't desire, you are imagining what you don't want and creating images of it in your thoughts. This just reaffirms those haunting pictures of your husband with another lady, as an example.
Even if you are trying to avoid or push away the bad thoughts, you're still focusing on the negative outcomes (and therefore only adding fuel to the fire). As an example, if you decide that you would like to avoid feeling hurt again, your mind must first imagine what it is like to be hurt so that you can avoid it.
This is how thinking about what you do not desire creates negative emotions.
If you would like to stop this self-perpetuating cycle and end the painful feelings and betrayal, you want to instead change your focus to what you do desire.
Rather than avoiding agony and suffering, you almost certainly want something like contentment, or a loving relationship. Begin to ask what it would be like to feel happy or to feel loved.
This causes your brain to start imagining all the details of what contentment and love would be like in your life.
This is how you take your focus off of the negative and put it on the positive.
First, you recognize you are focusing on what you don't want.
Then you stop and ask yourself, "Okay, if this is what I don't want, what do I want?"
Then you start to concentrate on what you do want.
This is going to be challenging initially, since the negative emotions you are experiencing have a sort of inertial of their own. But just like exercising a muscle, this may become simpler with practice and you can start to end the painful emotions and appalling thoughts that rush through your brain after your spouse's affair.
You can start to notice whether or not you are concentrating on what you want or what you do not want, and when you happen to notice your focus on something you do not want, you can begin to intentionally change it to something that you do want. With continued practice, you can start to move your life in a positive direction that may help build a foundation for happiness and love in the future.
About the Author:
If you'd like to learn more about coping with infidelity, please check out my guide to surviving an affair.
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