It's official, you and your ex have finally broken up. So what do you do now? This article will deal with the first steps to take immediately after a breakup.
1.) It is vital that you get over the panic and stress about your breakup. You cannot take control and actually do something that will work when you're stressed out. Don't discuss with your friends all the wrongs that your ex did.
This will only reinforce and prolong your negative feelings. It will also make your friends very uncomfortable. Unless they're experienced at resolving relationship problems, their suggestions will be off the top of their head and won't be very useful.
2.) Don't assume that the situation will somehow fix itself. Nothing will change unless you make it happen. This can only be accomplished with a cool head.
You will have to resist the urge to fix your relationship as rapidly as possible. This won't be done overnight. In fact it will take some time for the emotions of the breakup to settle down.
If the breakup happened in a non threatening way, reconciliation with her will be much easier. In order to a get some perspective, you'll need to allow some time for reflection. Before you try contacting her, you must have an understanding of the reasons for the breakup.
3.) Be friends with her. It's not the easiest thing to do with someone you've recently broken up with but it sets you up well for future contact with her. The status of your relationship is defined by what happened during your last contact. This last contact forms the basis of her recent memories about you.
Do the fun things with her that you did back in the beginning, before you had sex. This will serve to remind her of the good side of your relationship. She will understand that she'll be giving this fun aspect up if she leaves you.
4.) Be careful of alcohol. It will mess up your judgement. It's very common for a person late at night after a few drinks to think that it's a good idea to wake up their ex with a phone call.
No one is in a good frame of mind when they're wakened late at night by a phone call. This is doubly so if that call is from their ex. On top of this, the alcohol will diminish your inhibitions and you will regress to the usual behaviors that causes conflict.
5.) Get away from the house and enjoy yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but it's a great form of therapy. It's time to dust off old friendships and to make some new ones too. There's no better remedy for driving away the blues of separation than enjoying life again.
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Recently separated? Get free relationship break up advice and a strategy to get back together with your ex.
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