7/29/08

40 Something, And Still Dating!

By Pam Baldwin

For men who have reached that plateau of 40 years old, the prospect of finding someone to marry, have a family with, and ultimately settle down may seem like a big stretch if they haven't started down that road. Although it may seem daunting, the reality is that even guys who have reached forty aren't completely rejected - in fact, many men today over forty meet wonderful women and actively date on a regular basis.

Even though they get just as nervous as any other guy, these men go full speed ahead, not even thinking of their anxieties. There are some helpful tips for men over 40 who want to find that special someone, or who just want to date, these tips are important in today's society.

One of the biggest dating tips for men over 40 that can be considered is the use of a dating site online. While these websites tend to be thought of as a way for younger singles to meet, there are a great deal of middle aged and like aged people for the over-40 crowd that are also looking to meet someone. Of course, you may find yourself tempted to want to click the profile of every 21 year old co-ed on these sites, but have realistic goals for yourself, and look for women that match your personality, not just those that catch your eye.

If you are interested in finding that special someone in your life, there are many wonderful sites like eharmony, that allow you to meet someone based on your personality. This means being honest about yourself which is pretty hard to do. But being able to do this can be the difference of a one night stand or the love of your life.

Of course, one of the greatest dating tips for men over 40 is to be confident when on a date with a young woman. Even though you might be a little older than the woman you're out with, acting youthful is still a definite turn on for young women. Being a little playful in conversation, acting a little immature while still maintaining a fairly gentlemanly and dignified presence can add a little mystique to your personality, which can pique a woman's interest. A little bit of playful banter, or maybe a mischievous comment or two to set a romantic mood can create a loose atmosphere and help a woman feel more comfortable around you.

Here, the same old rule applies - you need to listen to a woman. As a man over 40 you probably need to fight the urge to talk and talk instead of sit and listen. No matter how old you are, you need to have an equal conversation, which means listening to what your date has to say. A woman will be more interested in you if you show a true interest and respond to what she is saying.

Do not take on the role of a father, while out on a date. A lot of older men without knowing take on the parental role, thus making her feel like your daughter. Try and react like you would of 20 years ago and see how much further that will get you.

For men over 40 there are many tips on dating, wether it's over the Internet,books or advice columns and these are just a few examples to think about when wanting to get out there on the dating scene. Always remember as a man over 40, be yourself and be true, and you will be surprised on how well you will do.

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Are You Trying To Make Sense Of Online Dating?

By Chaszey Sandhriel

Have you ever noticed that most Internet profiles start with "I am" or "I want?" And although you're the one looking for true love, your profile shouldn't be only about you.

Sandhriel states: "Online Dating is not about the person posting the ad, but about the person they are looking for; this is called Compound Interest. You can achieve success when you 'Pay it Forward.'"

"What do I have to pay forward?" you may wonder.

Think about it. There are more than 10 million Daters registered with Internet Dating sites paying over $2 billion dollars per year in the hopes of finding true love. If everyone is looking for just that one person, the likelihood that we spend most of our time rejecting others and being rejected ourselves is a given. In other words, once your sizzling profile is public, all you can focus on is weeding through the hundreds or even thousands of men and women that flood towards you.

Until your true love has found you, try earning some karma browny points by responding to those you're not interested in with grace. Because that most likely what you'll spend most of your time with when you embark on the wild world of Online Dating.

"We all have heard the saying that 'what goes out comes back tenfold.' What we tend to forget is that no one should have to earn our kindness and our respect. Everyone deserves these gifts from us for the simplest fact that we share in the same sun light, the same water, the same air, and we all walk pretty similar paths to one another, a journey called life. We have to recognize and never forget that we all are looking for the same thing: Unconditional love," says Chaszey.

Learning how to send graceful rejections that don't feel like rejections to your suiters takes time, effort and a kind heart. Chaszey says: "It's so worth it because soon you realize your positive karma points are subject to compound interest and before you know it your life is changing in dramatic ways that you never dreamed possible. It's hard to explain, but so worth it."

These karma points serve like a bonus to help you build a new character and create a stronger and kinder you so you can bring into your experience the person you truly deserve.

So before you hit that pre-programmed "thanks but no thanks" button, take a few minutes and read the other person's profile anyway, and send them a response that is filled with your kindness, not because they deserve it, but because that's who you are.

Chaszey Sandhriel is Your Online Dating Coach and helps Online Daters create sizzling results. You can visit her at www.YourOnlineDatingCoach.com or call her at 415.419.7952.

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How Do I Get My ex To Come Back?

By G. Thompson

The issue at hand is not just a matter of getting your ex to return. The issue has to begin with why did they leave in the first place. Look inside yourself and examine what role you played,in your partner leaving you.

We are emotional creatures. We enjoy being around people who make us feel good when we are around them. Simple things like paying a person a compliment makes them feel good. Laughing at the corny jokes you heard them say before, believe it or not makes them feel good. Those jokes may be corny and repetitive to you, but they can be fresh and funny for someone else.

Secondly,the reality is we all can be replaced. How would you feel if you were treated like you were replaceable? Everyone needs to feel needed. You have to be a keeper. You need to be the person that they have to have in their life. Look around for something they do for themselves and do it better for them.This causes a person to rely on you. It causes a mutual need. It forms a bonded relationship.

Thirdly, too often we take our mate for granted. Don't you like to feel special? When you first met, didn't you receive special treatment. Were not your little whims catered to? Didn't you feel special because of this treatment? So did your partner. You cant stop treating your partner as though they are special because there are too many others willing to treat them anyway they desire.

Remember when you were a child. Do you remember that uncle or aunt that gave you those little gifts. It could be something very small, but they always had something. How would you feel if they showed up empty handed. Disappointed, I'm sure. Do you show up making your mate feel disappointed about what you have to offer? Or are you still handing handfuls of disappointments?

After you determine what you did wrong, on your part you need a plan to get your ex back. You need to know what to say or not say so that you can get in there and repair some damage. Suppose they won't even answer your phone call. If you want to get your ex back, it is possible, you may need some guidance. You should watch this video, to help you plan the steps needed to get your ex to return. The video reveals three things that guarantee your lover will return even if they haven't left physically yet.

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3 Reasons To Cut Off Contact With Your Ex To Get Him Back

By Erik J. Michaels

It may seem like exactly what you don't want to do, but believe it or not cutting off contact with your ex can help a lot when you do decide to actively pursue a relationship with him. Rebuilding a life with him can be a lot simpler and easier after a term of about a month with no contact between you...and here are a few reasons why.

1) Being in each others' faces right after a breakup is bound to cause some friction. When emotions are flaring up and everything is out of control, it's easy to say the wrong things and make it much harder to recover from this. Cutting off contact with your ex gives you time to cool down, and serves as a kind of damage control to keep you from accidentally making things worse.

Once the month has finished and everyone's heads are cooler and more calm, working on the relationship can begin anew. After the break, everyone will be in a better frame of mind, allowing for a much easier time of constructive pursuit of fixing the problems between you.

2) Even if you two are on good terms still, being together after the breakup has other effects that can make it harder to get him back. Think about it, how much will your ex want you back in his life if he feels you never left his life? That's how it can end up feeling if you're still together after you separate.

A couple quotes for you: "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "you don't know what you have until it's gone." Being so close to one another for so long makes it harder to notice the great things about being together. When you two are forced to be apart, your ex actually gets the opportunity to miss you...and often that ends up making the situation sink in a lot deeper, and makes mutual agreement to get back together a lot easier.

3) Being up in each others' business, so to speak, tends to be a bit distracting and frustrating. It can be difficult to find the peace to really figure out what's going on and what needs to be addressed if you're going to pull off a reunion. Having a month apart from one another gives you ample opportunity to both heal your breakup pain and work out a plan for getting him back.

It's not easy to predict what your best course of action is for getting back your ex. People in this situation behave differently than you'd naturally assume, so don't trust yor first impulses when dealing with your ex. You need a real plan based on how things really work, and without it you'll be sailing against the wind, with a blindfold on.

Any person fresh out of a breakup with the intention to get her ex back should take this advice seriously. You've seen a few of the reasons, so I'm sure you understand the benefits of this separation...actually doing it can be hard. It's tough to be apart from the person you care for, but in some ways that's what you're banking on. Just rest assured that this will help, and when you get through it you'll find it much easier to find happiness again with your ex. I wish you the best of luck.

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