Henny Youngman would have been proud to deliver these at a wedding reception. Test your timing while you test the room's sense of comedy as you include these in your wedding day speeches. Here are a few guaranteed to spice up your wedding day speech.
1. Marriage is a thing, which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
2. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding rink and suffering.
3. Marriage is not a word, it's a sentence...a life sentence.
4. Never marry a man for money. You will have to earn every penny.
5. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener
6. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
7. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It just seems like it.
8. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months...I don't like to interrupt her.
9. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
The way you use these one-liners varies on the tone of your speech. Following the age-old wisdom of beginning with a joke to break the ice will get you off to a good start. It's especially helpful for overcoming your jitters. The roar of the crowd laughing will most likely be a strong encouragement for you.
Humor has long been known to be a tool to put people at ease - whether that be you or the wedding guests or even the bride and groom themselves. After all, a wedding is a joyous, happy occasion where laughter is a welcome guest.
These jokes are inoffensive and general enough be off-putting, but you should still take care to end your speech on a note of sincerity and with an expression of sincere good wishes for the new husband and wife.
1. Marriage is a thing, which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
2. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding rink and suffering.
3. Marriage is not a word, it's a sentence...a life sentence.
4. Never marry a man for money. You will have to earn every penny.
5. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener
6. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
7. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It just seems like it.
8. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months...I don't like to interrupt her.
9. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
The way you use these one-liners varies on the tone of your speech. Following the age-old wisdom of beginning with a joke to break the ice will get you off to a good start. It's especially helpful for overcoming your jitters. The roar of the crowd laughing will most likely be a strong encouragement for you.
Humor has long been known to be a tool to put people at ease - whether that be you or the wedding guests or even the bride and groom themselves. After all, a wedding is a joyous, happy occasion where laughter is a welcome guest.
These jokes are inoffensive and general enough be off-putting, but you should still take care to end your speech on a note of sincerity and with an expression of sincere good wishes for the new husband and wife.
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