7/28/08

The Essential First Steps to Getting Your Ex Back

By Marc Sandford

The dreaded day has finally arrived, your ex and you have broken up. What should you do now? This article will lay out the next crucial steps to take right after the breakup.

1.) The very first item for you to deal with is panic and stress. Your efforts at getting your ex back will be counter productive if you are stressed out. Don't bring up your ex's faults with your friends.

This type of discussion only serves to strengthen negative feelings. Talk of this sort will make your friends feel uncomfortable. Their suggestions will be of questionable value if they're inexperienced at dealing with relationship problems.

2.) This problem isn't going to repair itself. You will have to put forth the effort to change things for the better. A cool head will be needed to do this.

Your first instinct after the breakup will be to patch things up as fast as possible. There is no quick fix to relationship problems. As a matter of fact, you should let things cool off for about a month.

It helps tremendously if the breakup occurred in a non threatening way. Some time will be needed for reflection, to get things into perspective. Understanding the reasons behind the breakup is essential before any attempt at contacting her.

3.) Establish a friendship with her. This may be somewhat difficult but it is well worth the effort since it allows for further contact with her. The current status of your relationship is always defined by what was said during the last contact. Her present thoughts about you were molded by that last contact you had with her.

Try doing some of the fun things that you used to do when you first met her. This will remind her of the good times you had together. This reminder will make it more difficult for her to leave you.

4.) Be careful of alcohol. It will mess up your judgement. It's very common for a person late at night after a few drinks to think that it's a good idea to wake up their ex with a phone call.

No one is happy about getting a phone call late at night. This is particularly true if it's their ex on the phone. Because the alcohol will loosen up your inhibitions, things will be said that will make matters worse.

5.) Get out of the house and have a little fun. I know it's easier for me to say that than for you to do it but it has immense therapeutic value. Make new friends and get back together with the old buddies. Enjoying life again will drive away the pain and depression of the separation.

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