3/8/11

Tips That Can Help You Stop A Divorce

By Russell Strider


Quite a few individuals discover themselves in the distressing position where they're confronted with a spouse who is seeking a divorce. If your husband or wife is seeking a divorce and you prefer to discover a method to salvage your marriage and stop a divorce from occurring, then you'll want to take a moment to genuinely assess the relationship.

Whilst there are undoubtedly lots of different reasons why one person in the relationship may be looking for a separation or divorce, it is very important to recognize that even when an extramarital affair or other person has entered into the dynamics of your marriage, there is certainly still hope. You can stop a divorce at any time and reconcile your marriage when that is what both people really want.

The very first thing you have to do if confronted with the announcement that your partner would like a divorce is to avoid overreacting. You really don't need to begin begging, pleading, name calling or belittling; none of those actions will get you any closer to your own hope of fixing the relationship and preserving the marriage. It is often difficult not to get too emotional, however you should take a step back and examine your marriage for exactly what it truly is. Chances are there are actually things that you have said or done that have contributed to the breaking down of the marriage and these are the issues you'll have to work on and take responsibility for. Even so, this is certainly not the time to point out all of the faults your spouse has, especially if your goal will be to stop a divorce from happening.

Your partner is probably interested in a divorce due to the fact they really feel that they've lost their love for you, or they believe that the issues in the relationship are so large that they will not be able to get over them. Nobody wants to spend their life living in a relationship where they are unhappy. Therefore, you will really need to find the areas you can change in yourself and focus on that, not on your spouse and their faults. It is not that your spouse has no faults or has not contributed to the failure of the marriage; it is simply that you will need to step back and give it a little time before those problems are addressed.

Where there was at one time love, this feeling can be renewed. At times we believe we've fallen out of love mainly because we no longer have those intense feelings we once had. We have slipped into a complacent way of life along with the rut of going to the job, doing chores, taking care of the children, paying bills and all of the other normal essentials of life have left you not displaying the type of care and compassion you did at first. If you can, attempt to show your spouse small acts of kindness. Do not force them into changing their mind, but you can easily apologize for the things you might have done in the marriage and make sure they know that you intend to change. Then, actually do it. Begin working on making those improvements promptly and do not throw it in your spouse's face, let them observe your brand new attitude and behavior instead of speaking about it. They are going to notice.

Any time you hear that your husband or wife wants to leave your relationship, or wants a divorce, it is often devastating. Try to remember, there are actually things it is possible to do to help resurrect that marriage; but you should never push your spouse further away.




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