5/6/11

All About Conflict Management

By Alfred Burke


Conflict Management is very important. The stereotype that conflict is actually detrimental is coming under attack from many experts. There's a growing way of thinking that conflict may activate an engaged and energetic working atmosphere that shakes apathy and compliancy to its center. Having said that, there is an equally expressive group that sees conflict is often dysfunctional and the implications can far outweigh any potential advantages. Conflict can effect significant change. In many organizations when significant change is necessary to deal with stagnation and apathy, managers deliberately introduce conflict to raise the intensity of a team. New ideas and concepts can come out of this intense level of activity.

But, arguably, these thoughts can just as easily originate from cohesive group activity that is orchestrated by sensible managers. The better prepared you are to handle and deal with a conflict, the better you are going to do. This can include taking the time to think over the difficult issue or issues, individuality dynamics, related past experience and desired outcomes before participating in a genuine discussion to resolve a conflict with another party. It's really no different than preparing for a speech or an exam. With preparation, you become more comfortable, concentrated, and in control of your emotions.

Remember that the individuals who trigger you the most are usually your best coaches. Why? Since these people unveil your weaknesses, doubts, and hot buttons which actually end up exposing a lot more about you than when it comes to them. That doesn't mean that the conflict is much less legitimate, but just don't forget to include yourself when looking at the situation. You would be astonished at what you can find out. If you find yourself judging someone else's actions without knowing the intent behind those actions, ask that individual first whatever they meant or why they did what they did before blaming any motives to them.

What you will often discover is that there was a well-meaning or amusing intention that moved astray. Wouldn't you want others to do the same with you? Concentrate on the problem, not the individual. Employee X might not be one of the most friendly of your employees. Most people know no less than one "difficult employee" during their work experience. This is the worker who is constantly sad and uncooperative regardless of what. It doesn't mean employee X does not have a valid issue. Focus on determining and managing the situation. If, after careful and thorough analysis, you establish the individual is the problem, then concentrate on the person at that point.

Conflict Management is really a necessary skill. So many people are uncomfortable with regards to confrontation. I understand the idea of having the dialogue in your head; so that you can plan out what you need to say and how you would like to say it. From time to time these mental conversations are sufficient to settle the problem, as you comprehend you are making too much out of a straightforward situation. I'm sure that I have expended hours lying in bed during the night having conversations with people with whom I am angry and frustrated. Not only does this exercise interrupt your sleep, your attitude and your health, it never actually eliminates the issue, and is potentially harmful to your relationships.




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