5/25/11

Facts about Phobia Of Commitment

By Nigel James


Phobia of commitment is a common disorder among men and women. But it is more commonly seen in men. And the women involved are often affected. This disorder can be fear of commitment to personal and professional relationships. The man or woman with this phobia has a hard time committing to anything for a long time. They jump around from one relationship to the next, dating numerous of different people. And career-wise, they can often be seen changing from one career to the next. They are not likely to stick with working at one job.

We find commitment phobia to be a psychological disorder that can be treated. Seeking professional help can be an effective way in dealing with it. By analyzing the root of the problem and finding ways to treat it can help in dealing with the fear. It is important to get help. When things are going great, the phobia leads the person to stray away, leaving others in confusion. This can be very hurtful to the other people.

Although both men and women can suffer from this disorder, commitment phobia is more commonly seen in men. Women that date men with phobia to commitment are too often hurt in the end, and they themselves can be adversely affected by it. When a man leaves suddenly because things are becoming too serious, the woman is hurt and confused. She wonders why he left when things were going so well. The commitment phobic man cannot handle what is making him both happy but trapped.

The pain experienced in the past may be so great that the commitment phobic will never want to make his or herself vulnerable to that extent of hurt. This could be a childhood pain or past adulthood experiences. He or she will try to avoid this to all extents, and hurt or disappoint others. Shutting down to avoid the hurt will also shut the door to feeling joy, love, and all the other lovely things that can be gained in meaningful engagements.

There are obvious signs that one is suffering from a phobia of commitment. This can occur in both genders. He or she is likely to change jobs frequently. Having short-lived relationships is normal. The commitment phobic will go from one lover to the next. He or she is not likely to settle down for a long-term relationship.

Often times, commitment phobics have unrealistic expectations of what they want. Images of self are near perfection while they harshly criticize and mock others. They view others as not good enough for them. And when their expectations are not being met and the thrill is gone, they will venture out to seek other pursuits. Everything is very short lived. Even with plans, they will be making one plan and quickly change them. This can be quite an inconvenience and a nuisance to others. Those dealing with commitment phobics are likely to become frustrated, hurt, and confused.

The commitment phobe is a thrill seeker. He or she seeks instant thrills that are short lived. This may lead to serial dating or even becoming promiscuous. They will feel an instant attraction to someone and pursue that chase, but the relationship never survives long. They may be very affectionate and attentive at first, but when the thrill is gone, they will jump to the next.

Though it is a very common and serious disorder, it can be treated with the proper attention. And getting to the root of the problem and carefully examining and understanding what is causing the fear or commitment and intimacy is the first step in the process of healing. There may be things that have happened in the past that have been unexamined that may be causing the phobia.



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