5/28/11

How to Get Rid of Approach Anxiety

By Seth Czerepak


Picture this familiar scenario. You're in a public place. Perhaps a coffee shop, bookstore, or supermarket.
You see an attractive girl from a distance, and feel the urge to approach. Almost as soon as you feel this
urge, another feeling seems to take control. Fear. Fear of rejection, fear of making a fool of yourself, and
fear that you won't know exactly what to say. With this fear in mind, you go about doing what you were
doing before, and miss your opportunity. After the opportunity is passed, you are filled with regret. You
had an amazing opportunity to approach a beautiful girl, but you turned it down out of fear! Now you will
never know anything about that girl, because you never approached her!

This scenario is all too frequent. It is often generally known as "approach anxiety," because as soon as you
think about approaching a stylish young lady, you feel extremely anxious and stressed. So how can you
remove this stress and anxiety? How can you become efficient at approaching beautiful ladies? Well, first you
have to make a quick realization.

Possible Emotional Outcomes From an Approach

When faced with the opportunity to approach a woman, there are three possible emotional outcomes.
These outcomes are the feelings of success, failure, and regret. If you actually approach the girl, there
are only two possible feelings: success and failure. By simply approaching a woman, you get rid of the
possibility of regret. You will never feel regret for approaching a women, even if it goes terribly! Why is
this? Because you actually tried! You had the courage to approach, so you will never regret the fact that
you did not approach.

Now, consider the second bad emotional sensation, failure. If you approach a woman, and she turns you down,
you are able to say that you failed. But did you truly? No. It's never failure so long as you take the courage to
make a move. If you do fall short once you approach a woman, you will get more knowledge. You will know
what not to do, and how to proceed the next time. Great reasoning only arrives via failing, and understanding
what not to do.

Regret: An Emotion with No Upsides

Once you make the choice to approach a young lady, you've succeeded. You've used bravery to talk to
a girl, and whether or not this was a good results or a failure, you've learned from it, as well as managed to move on. However, what
happens if you don't approach the lady? Regret. You will really feel regret, and it'll never go away. It can't
disappear completely! You will never know what could've been, so you can never have any feeling of satisfaction or
closure. All of your life, once you think back to that instant, you'll sense regret. For this reason,
the sensation associated with failure is always much better than regret.

So the next time you're given the chance to approach a girl, think about the feasible outcomes. Understand
that failure isn't a poor feeling. Realize the only real bad emotion in this scenario is regret, which is the
emotion you will surely feel if you don't approach. Because of this, you'll be able to understand that by
approaching, you're really conserving yourself from the damaging experience.




About the Author:



No comments: