8/7/11

Raising Young Children And Teens - Three Tips To Help You Do Well

By Abigail F. Xavier


Ideas about parenting vary quite a bit, but no one would deny that mutual trust and good communication are central to the process. While this may be obvious, it's nevertheless something that's very often lacking in the parent child connection. Too many parents unthinkingly treat their kids the way they themselves were treated as children, which often leads to a disastrous outcome. There is a negative cycle that is perpetuated in succeeding generations. But since you've sought out this article, this means that you want to find a more effective and proactive parenting style. Nobody is born with the knowledge to teach or raise others, and that usually is not taught in school, either.

The relationship between parent and child is very strong, but it can also be challenging and confusing. The more mutual love and respect you have with your kids, the less of a problem it will be to discipline them when this becomes necessary. When there's good overall communication between everyone, discipline can be administered much more effectively. It's essential to really understand a child if you want discipline to have the desired effect. This type of trust is necessary so that the child has no doubt that any disciplinary action is based on knowing what's best for him or her.

It's always best to create firm and consistent boundaries that your children know they have to stay within. This actually enables the child to feel much more secure and grounded. Do your best to make your children understand why these rules or limits are necessary. You can hope that your children will respect these limits, but you realistically have to expect that this won't always be the case. So just accept it because fighting it will only cause friction and stress. When you do set up a certain rule, you have to make your children aware that it's meant to be followed at all times.

There's no point in creating rules or standards for your children to follow if they can get away with ignoring them with no repercussions. In other words, there has to be consistency between what you tell your kids about consequences and what you actually do when they break the rules. Some parents allow their children to avoid consequences by crying or begging, and this undermines any attempts at discipline. Once you establish this kind of precedent, your children will know exactly what they have to do to avoid consequences. The important thing is to be consistent, so that your children will learn that it's futile to try to avoid the rules and consequences you've laid down. It's really essential that children grow up understanding that they can't get away with disregarding rules, and as a parent you're the one who they should learn this from.

As a parent, understand that your job includes all of the trials and tribulations that your children will put you through which is a test of your merit. The easiest way to get through these difficult moments is to stay calm and relaxed.

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