There are some women who don't understand how their relationship turned for the worse. After all, 'they don't ever argue with their husbands'. Well, of course that sends a huge, waving, red flag up. If you don't argue, then you aren't being honest or you aren't saying anything.
Silence in a relationship. This is not good because this means that you and your partner don't want to deal with each other anymore.
How do I know if we are being silent? You'll know if your relationship is in trouble if you and your partner haven't been talking much about your interests or argued lately. You have disconnected. One of you chose silence over having to deal with judgements, criticisms, and the like.
Why is it such a poison? A debate would mean that both parties are trying to be heard. They are trying to get their points across and they are trying to convince their partners of something. So both of you have your opinions out in the open and both of you know where the other stands. If both of you are silent, then you won't know where the other stands. So you would resort to guesses and assumptions. And we all know those can lead to chaos.
So what should I do? Relationship silence is easy to cure. You just need to start talking. The hardest thing to do is to take the first step. The second is to begin to understand why you both shut down to begin with. What was the last big argument you had? And what was said? If there silence in the relationship is too great for you to deal with yourselves, you shouldn't lose hope. You may need an impartial person such as a mediator, religious leader, or therapist to help you through it.
A Quick Tip. If you are afraid to make the first move, ask yourself, "what am I scared of?" What's the worse than can happen? Would my partner let me speak up or would he judge me?
Silence in a relationship. This is not good because this means that you and your partner don't want to deal with each other anymore.
How do I know if we are being silent? You'll know if your relationship is in trouble if you and your partner haven't been talking much about your interests or argued lately. You have disconnected. One of you chose silence over having to deal with judgements, criticisms, and the like.
Why is it such a poison? A debate would mean that both parties are trying to be heard. They are trying to get their points across and they are trying to convince their partners of something. So both of you have your opinions out in the open and both of you know where the other stands. If both of you are silent, then you won't know where the other stands. So you would resort to guesses and assumptions. And we all know those can lead to chaos.
So what should I do? Relationship silence is easy to cure. You just need to start talking. The hardest thing to do is to take the first step. The second is to begin to understand why you both shut down to begin with. What was the last big argument you had? And what was said? If there silence in the relationship is too great for you to deal with yourselves, you shouldn't lose hope. You may need an impartial person such as a mediator, religious leader, or therapist to help you through it.
A Quick Tip. If you are afraid to make the first move, ask yourself, "what am I scared of?" What's the worse than can happen? Would my partner let me speak up or would he judge me?
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