11/27/11

Learning Facts About Getting Back Together With Your Ex - It Is Not Necessarily A Good Idea

By Ray Malkson


If you are considering getting back together with your ex - it is not necessarily a good idea. There is usually a good reason why two people do not stay together. You need to analyze the reasons that you and your ex split up. For some people, taking a break from each other is a good thing. It gives time to reflect and think about what was causing issues in the relationship.

If you are considering a reunion, look at both sides of the relationship neutrally if possible. Sometimes there are quirks and traits about your last spouse or significant other that you find difficult to live with. For example, a non-smoker may find it offensive that his or her smoking partner will not quit. This is a noticeable and difficult habit to break. It is a good example of something that might keep two people apart.

It is very important that you identify the issues that made the two of you split up and list them on a priority level. Those issues that are most important to you should be at the top of the list and need to be addressed first. Anything that can be tolerated easily should be at the bottom of the list.

You need to make sure that your ex is thinking the same way you are. If you are considering a reconciliation but have not told them, you may not get the outcome you would like. They will need to be willing to change as much as you when it comes to making the relationship healthier and stronger.

If you think that there are some things that cannot be changed and they had a direct influence on your break up, you might want to avoid a reunion instead. It is better to accept things and move on then stay in, or go back to, a relationship where you are miserable most of the time. Chances are your ex is thinking the same thing.

A good way to find out if a reconciliation would be successful is by attending therapy sessions. You can work through your problems there by discussing them with a neutral party. If you have an easy time talking to each other and to the counselor, you may be able to make the relationship better. If you are avoiding speaking and dread going to the counseling sessions, it may not be worth it.

It is not a good idea to reunite for any convenience issues. Even if children are involved, it is better if they are not exposed to any behaviors that might cause them mental or emotional trauma in the future. Some will decide that staying together for the children is a good idea, while others would rather part and see if they can find a compatible partner for themselves.

Before you consider getting back together with your ex - it is not necessarily a good idea to make any quick decisions. Keep in mind that you and your partner have only one life and it is better to try to be happy whether you are reconciled or not.




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