When I first went through a split for the first time in my early twenties, I could not believe how much it hurt! I did not accept that something could be painful that much (short of being skewered by a pole).
But why do they hurt so much? Here is some relationship advice:
Well, break ups hurt so terribly thanks to the intense feelings of being rejected that are associated with them.
When you stop to think over it, you and your partner were likely very close, right? In several cases your other half is the most intimate relationship you have.
But when you let someone get so close to you emotionally, it can sting even more hard when that person then rejects you. It's like tell you that regardless of the incontrovertible fact that you thought they'd love you, you simply did not measure up and they kicked you to the curb knowing everything about you.
That may be really tough.
It might even be adequate to make you try and do things to validate yourself to your ex. Maybe you can try to prove to your ex you are indeed a lovable person by going out and dating others to make your ex envious.
This is common thing that people do, but if your goal is to revive your relationship, you actually shouldn't do this. Firstly, dating other people will send a message to your ex that you are moving on, and if you're moving on, they should too.
Plus, things that involve jealousy are only going to spawn petty feelings and negative feelings. Usually, these aren't what brings folks together and makes them fall madly in love.
What you want to understand is that even though you might be feeling strong emotions of rejection from the break up, you still have the power to concentrate your mind on what you desire and find your own joy.
You see, whether or not your ex rejected you, you don't have to acknowledge that rejection. You can still enjoy your own life and discover things to be grateful for or cheerful about in your life.
Every moment, you can opt to concentrate your thoughts on what you need or what you do not need. When you focus on what you do not want, you'll feel bad, and when you concentrate on what you do need, you'll feel good.
You can decide to feel really good irrespective of what your ex does or announces by simply focusing your brain on the positive things in your life.
But why do they hurt so much? Here is some relationship advice:
Well, break ups hurt so terribly thanks to the intense feelings of being rejected that are associated with them.
When you stop to think over it, you and your partner were likely very close, right? In several cases your other half is the most intimate relationship you have.
But when you let someone get so close to you emotionally, it can sting even more hard when that person then rejects you. It's like tell you that regardless of the incontrovertible fact that you thought they'd love you, you simply did not measure up and they kicked you to the curb knowing everything about you.
That may be really tough.
It might even be adequate to make you try and do things to validate yourself to your ex. Maybe you can try to prove to your ex you are indeed a lovable person by going out and dating others to make your ex envious.
This is common thing that people do, but if your goal is to revive your relationship, you actually shouldn't do this. Firstly, dating other people will send a message to your ex that you are moving on, and if you're moving on, they should too.
Plus, things that involve jealousy are only going to spawn petty feelings and negative feelings. Usually, these aren't what brings folks together and makes them fall madly in love.
What you want to understand is that even though you might be feeling strong emotions of rejection from the break up, you still have the power to concentrate your mind on what you desire and find your own joy.
You see, whether or not your ex rejected you, you don't have to acknowledge that rejection. You can still enjoy your own life and discover things to be grateful for or cheerful about in your life.
Every moment, you can opt to concentrate your thoughts on what you need or what you do not need. When you focus on what you do not want, you'll feel bad, and when you concentrate on what you do need, you'll feel good.
You can decide to feel really good irrespective of what your ex does or announces by simply focusing your brain on the positive things in your life.
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If you found this helpful, also check out How to Deal with Heartbreak and Does No Contact work to get Your ex back.
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