There are so many ways we use the word love, we can become confused. We use "love" for liking a thing, person, activity, places and the likes, for romantic attraction, for maternal, paternal, filial, brotherly, sisterly and group forms of love. Most of these "loves" are conditional upon the loved person or object meeting some expectations in the mind of the one "giving" the love. As we contemplate these many different kinds of "love" we begin to see different "levels" of love, different qualities of energy, and different ways of using the will. In order to fully understand human relationship and love, we have to understand first about the different levels of love.
1. CONDITIONAL LOVE
Conditional love is like a kind of bargain with the Universe to give you self-love if you "take care of" people. Tends to make others responsible for your needs and happiness. There are secondary gains in this position, though the price paid is being less than one's True Self.
This level corresponds in psychosynthesis to the level of the subpersonalities. There is a tendency to "love" only the perceived "victim" in any situation, to specify with the victim, and to hate the perceived "oppressor". Unable to see that the oppressor is also suffering, but in a different way and expressing their suffering differently. Both the victim and the oppressor are giving out a cry for love and for their unmet needs to be met. There is a tendency for one operating at this level to hold others responsible for their happiness (and therefore unhappiness!), and at the same time push love or help away when it has been offered.
2. TOUGH LOVE
Tough Love is less dependent upon others for a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. A more skilled Care-giver. Self-love and self-esteem is enough to take more positive action. Recognizes own needs and is willing to take responsibility for getting them met. Can confront caringly. "I love myself enough to love you and tell you the truth"... "I can serve you without manipulations".
Can also receive love with openness, does not push it away when it is offered.
This level corresponds more to the level of the psyche called in psychosynthesis, the personal self. There is more discrimination, will, love and passion.
For more information about levels of Love, please check here.
1. CONDITIONAL LOVE
Conditional love is like a kind of bargain with the Universe to give you self-love if you "take care of" people. Tends to make others responsible for your needs and happiness. There are secondary gains in this position, though the price paid is being less than one's True Self.
This level corresponds in psychosynthesis to the level of the subpersonalities. There is a tendency to "love" only the perceived "victim" in any situation, to specify with the victim, and to hate the perceived "oppressor". Unable to see that the oppressor is also suffering, but in a different way and expressing their suffering differently. Both the victim and the oppressor are giving out a cry for love and for their unmet needs to be met. There is a tendency for one operating at this level to hold others responsible for their happiness (and therefore unhappiness!), and at the same time push love or help away when it has been offered.
2. TOUGH LOVE
Tough Love is less dependent upon others for a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. A more skilled Care-giver. Self-love and self-esteem is enough to take more positive action. Recognizes own needs and is willing to take responsibility for getting them met. Can confront caringly. "I love myself enough to love you and tell you the truth"... "I can serve you without manipulations".
Can also receive love with openness, does not push it away when it is offered.
This level corresponds more to the level of the psyche called in psychosynthesis, the personal self. There is more discrimination, will, love and passion.
For more information about levels of Love, please check here.
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