I seem to have a bit of a problem. I have spent years of expendable, college income on mainly just two things: alcohol and funny t-shirts. The alcohol gets rid of itself fairly easily, but the funny t-shirts have just kept stockpiling in my closet for five straight years. Now there isn't room for even a pair of jeans. My current, well-intentioned girlfriend and informed me that I should be putting aside childish things and get rid of the t-shirt overflow. Well, I tried giving some to a Goodwill and they wouldn't take them. Now I have to get creative, or possibly lose the affection of a really hot girl that's already out of my league.
There is a website called EBAY where the most wonderful items can be bought for a relatively cheap price. One of these items happens to be a fully-functional, gently-used t-shirt cannon. Excuse me, but did you not hear me correctly? I said "t-shirt cannon." A weapon that shoots a t-shirt at 4 million miles an hour into stadium crowds using pressurized air. This cannon can be used, say, from the passenger side of my best friend's ride to give the poor and destitute free, funny t-shirts personally. They might get a bruise or two, but who can be angry after they get free t-shirts?
Maybe I'm letting some inner anger over being forced to get rid of my funny t-shirts bubble up with that whole "shooting homeless people with free shirts" idea. Maybe I need to redirect that internalized anger outward into something fun and exciting. Since a huge portion of my funny t-shirts are white tees, I could give them away to guests at my wet t-shirt party bonanza! Each guest will be issued one water gun and one white tee for the evening. Add some delicious booze, and watch things get crazy! That, my friends, is a great idea.
I would never ever look someone dead in the eyes and tell them that I think that I am "good with my hands" unless I was about to make a really inappropriate joke that my girlfriend will slap me for. However, I am going to cash my man-card in here and say that I think that quilts are pretty freaking cool. The things that ladies can do with their old lady hands is astounding, and I wish I could make a giant quilt out of the fronts of all my old funny t-shirts. I heard about a guy who is selling quilts made from old concert t-shirts of heavy metal bands. Why couldn't I do the same? Oh, yeah. Because I'm useless at crafts. I'll make you a macaroni duck to prove it.
I just came to a realization. Not only am I really cool for owning so many funny t-shirts, but I am also a borderline genius. I haven't even tried that hard, and I have three super ideas to bring to my girlfriend in order to get rid of these funny t-shirts of mine. I may have a college education now and I may be in a serious relationship, but I hope she goes for the wet t-shirt party idea. I suddenly got that weird feeling that I get sometimes when my girlfriend is staring at me with her eyebrows all scrunched together. She's probably reading this over my shoulder.
There is a website called EBAY where the most wonderful items can be bought for a relatively cheap price. One of these items happens to be a fully-functional, gently-used t-shirt cannon. Excuse me, but did you not hear me correctly? I said "t-shirt cannon." A weapon that shoots a t-shirt at 4 million miles an hour into stadium crowds using pressurized air. This cannon can be used, say, from the passenger side of my best friend's ride to give the poor and destitute free, funny t-shirts personally. They might get a bruise or two, but who can be angry after they get free t-shirts?
Maybe I'm letting some inner anger over being forced to get rid of my funny t-shirts bubble up with that whole "shooting homeless people with free shirts" idea. Maybe I need to redirect that internalized anger outward into something fun and exciting. Since a huge portion of my funny t-shirts are white tees, I could give them away to guests at my wet t-shirt party bonanza! Each guest will be issued one water gun and one white tee for the evening. Add some delicious booze, and watch things get crazy! That, my friends, is a great idea.
I would never ever look someone dead in the eyes and tell them that I think that I am "good with my hands" unless I was about to make a really inappropriate joke that my girlfriend will slap me for. However, I am going to cash my man-card in here and say that I think that quilts are pretty freaking cool. The things that ladies can do with their old lady hands is astounding, and I wish I could make a giant quilt out of the fronts of all my old funny t-shirts. I heard about a guy who is selling quilts made from old concert t-shirts of heavy metal bands. Why couldn't I do the same? Oh, yeah. Because I'm useless at crafts. I'll make you a macaroni duck to prove it.
I just came to a realization. Not only am I really cool for owning so many funny t-shirts, but I am also a borderline genius. I haven't even tried that hard, and I have three super ideas to bring to my girlfriend in order to get rid of these funny t-shirts of mine. I may have a college education now and I may be in a serious relationship, but I hope she goes for the wet t-shirt party idea. I suddenly got that weird feeling that I get sometimes when my girlfriend is staring at me with her eyebrows all scrunched together. She's probably reading this over my shoulder.
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There is a great site about funny t-shirts which can be found at cool t-shirts where you can see how it's done right.
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