4/11/12

Let Some Things Pass: How to Quit Being a Nagger

By Alex Shant


There are urges to always comment on things that do not meet your standard ways of doing. Examples of this is when you feel your wit's end when you see your spouse leaving the bathroom in chaos, when he never cleans the pantry after eating and when he leave the clothes on the floor after he takes a bath. You translate your annoyance with the way your partner does things with nagging words. While it may feel as a release for you, it could do more harm than develop your marriage into something blissful. So step back and assess if there is a need to put aside that badgering attitude.

The question is how it is possible to let things slide and simply quit being a nagger? Before knowing the solution to your problem, you must familiarize yourself of it. What is nagging and what are the symptoms of which you can determine if what you are doing is already something of that nature.

There is a mouthful of synonyms for the word nagging. Aside from faultfinding, it is also called the following: continually complaining, criticism, catty, carping, coaxing, cynical, demanding, dunning, hairsplitting, insistent, nit-picking, overcritical, peevish, persistent, pestering, pettish, pressing, quibble, recurring, relentless, shrewish, slam, swipe, unrelenting, urging, and wheedling.

Nagging is a vicious cycle. When you start to pester your spouse upon seeing simple frustrations with his actions, you end up continuing your act until your partner eventually tries to avoid you. The annoying part is that, you nag even more as you sense that he is trying to evade your actions and withdraws from you because of a brewing resent towards the negative things you always say. Nagging ultimately becomes a defensive method and you treat it as an approach of trying to get his attention back. Instead of drawing your loved one back to you, the nagging will only worsen the situation and, sooner or later, it will push him away for good. He will feel inadequate and defensive toward you. So before you decide to nag, think of the following things:

Is this nagging way of living really the type of life that you want? Are you willing to stick to your habit just because you feel the urge to at the expense of your loved one? Do you want to live alone as a nagger or live happily with someone and learn the beauty of patience? Are you willing to throw away the blame game and start a new life with a more tolerant and uncomplaining attitude just to maintain peace of mind and tranquility in the relationship?

Think about it.




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