For so many women today, men are confusing, even incomprehensible. They seem to operate according to a murky set of rules women have never quite learned.We all want to find and nourish warm, rich, and fulfilling relationships. Why, when we all have the same hopeful intentions, does love become so easily diminished; why do couples drift away from each other? Why does love blossom into an enduring bond for some people, but never seem to develop roots for others?
Relationships do not typically unravel because of major conflicts-surprisingly, those are often handled in constructive ways. Most relationships die slowly and without the conscious awareness of either party. There is a fine line between a relationship that moves in a positive direction and one that slips silently into apathy or die slow accumulation of disappointments and resentment. Most of us do not know where that line is and do not have the specific guideposts to track it over a period of time.
When we know what affects relationships, we are then able to change them. Although some women and men believe that love is too special, fragile, and wondrous to tamper with, the reality is that love is governed not by quirks of decisions, but by particular psychologies-ways of understanding and predicting how people will behave in certain situations. The person who is in love feels out of control, may feel "swept away" with infatuation, yet secretly may be pessimistic and helpless when love mysteriously goes awry. Isn't it better to have a sound understanding of die dynamics of love? Hope and optimism are never misguided when grounded in knowledge and sureness.
For some women, there are some special and rattier poignant urgency. Women of the baby-boom generation-women ranging in age from 25 to 40-are, in increasing numbers, eager to marry and begin families while they still can.
The wish for commitment has given rise to a new set of concerns. Women clearly desire commitment, and think that most men today don't. That is not to say that men do not ultimately want to commit themselves to a relationship. What it means is that their highly focused emotional investment in work predominates. Unlike women, men do not have biological docks that force them to reorder their priorities.
Some basic but poorly understood differences between the sexes account for many of the confusions and tensions that arise in love relationships. When the reasons for these differences are known and the ways such differences affect relationships are understood, exchanges between men and women become far more comprehensible and less frustrating.
Relationships do not typically unravel because of major conflicts-surprisingly, those are often handled in constructive ways. Most relationships die slowly and without the conscious awareness of either party. There is a fine line between a relationship that moves in a positive direction and one that slips silently into apathy or die slow accumulation of disappointments and resentment. Most of us do not know where that line is and do not have the specific guideposts to track it over a period of time.
When we know what affects relationships, we are then able to change them. Although some women and men believe that love is too special, fragile, and wondrous to tamper with, the reality is that love is governed not by quirks of decisions, but by particular psychologies-ways of understanding and predicting how people will behave in certain situations. The person who is in love feels out of control, may feel "swept away" with infatuation, yet secretly may be pessimistic and helpless when love mysteriously goes awry. Isn't it better to have a sound understanding of die dynamics of love? Hope and optimism are never misguided when grounded in knowledge and sureness.
For some women, there are some special and rattier poignant urgency. Women of the baby-boom generation-women ranging in age from 25 to 40-are, in increasing numbers, eager to marry and begin families while they still can.
The wish for commitment has given rise to a new set of concerns. Women clearly desire commitment, and think that most men today don't. That is not to say that men do not ultimately want to commit themselves to a relationship. What it means is that their highly focused emotional investment in work predominates. Unlike women, men do not have biological docks that force them to reorder their priorities.
Some basic but poorly understood differences between the sexes account for many of the confusions and tensions that arise in love relationships. When the reasons for these differences are known and the ways such differences affect relationships are understood, exchanges between men and women become far more comprehensible and less frustrating.
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