If you are betrayed, it can be one of the most painful times of your life. There is a good possibility that your marriage or relationship will not survive infidelity. However, there are cases where you can eventually return to normal. Here are some strategies on how to survive an affair.
Forgiving and Forgetting
You will have to find it in your heart to forgive this person. However, this can take a long time to occur, but you need to forgive, or your relationship may be doomed. When you hold resentment inside for a long time, it can fester over the months and years. This pent up resentment will eventually find an outlet, and it may ruin your relationship.
Discovering the Reasons for Betrayal
If you wish to stay together, you must know the reason for the infidelity. This is an another tip when trying to learn how to get over an affair. For example, this may be the ever famous "one night stand" kind of encounter. The one night stand may be the easiest to overcome, as there may not be any emotional attachments to deal with.
However, there is also the possibility that your spouse has a long term relationship with someone, and this can sometimes be very difficult. If your significant other is emotionally attached to someone else, you cannot have a successful marriage until that attachment is broken. It will take more than stating that it is over, as this person has already violated your trust.
If you decide to take him or her back, you have to set specific guidelines in the beginning. If your partner sees this other person one more time, all is lost and you are leaving. You must be willing to stick with this, to keep your self respect. If you ever tolerate it again, you may have a miserable existence.
One of the most difficult scenarios is cheating out of spite or revenge, as this situation may be doomed from the beginning. Even though two wrongs never make something right, you share equal blame with your partner. This will take a great deal of discussion and perhaps professional guidance.
Issues with Trust
Trust may be very elusive for a long time, and it may never fully return. When someone cheats of you, they now have to earn that trust over a long period of time. However, once you reconcile, do not bring the matter up again, and consider it a closed issue. As part of your terms, let your spouse or partner know that you reserve the right to leave if this current situation does not work out. At some point, you may decide that it is not worth the effort, and you should leave.
Final Thoughts
If someone cheats on you, it is important to know the real reason why. This will determine the best strategy for dealing with the problem. A one night stand may be easier to deal with than a long term affair. You must set specific boundaries on issues of trust, and he or she must know that it will never again be tolerated. You may eventually be able to forgive and trust this person, in the future. However, you may decide to change your mind and leave, so give yourself that option in the beginning. These tips may help you learn how to survive an affair.
Forgiving and Forgetting
You will have to find it in your heart to forgive this person. However, this can take a long time to occur, but you need to forgive, or your relationship may be doomed. When you hold resentment inside for a long time, it can fester over the months and years. This pent up resentment will eventually find an outlet, and it may ruin your relationship.
Discovering the Reasons for Betrayal
If you wish to stay together, you must know the reason for the infidelity. This is an another tip when trying to learn how to get over an affair. For example, this may be the ever famous "one night stand" kind of encounter. The one night stand may be the easiest to overcome, as there may not be any emotional attachments to deal with.
However, there is also the possibility that your spouse has a long term relationship with someone, and this can sometimes be very difficult. If your significant other is emotionally attached to someone else, you cannot have a successful marriage until that attachment is broken. It will take more than stating that it is over, as this person has already violated your trust.
If you decide to take him or her back, you have to set specific guidelines in the beginning. If your partner sees this other person one more time, all is lost and you are leaving. You must be willing to stick with this, to keep your self respect. If you ever tolerate it again, you may have a miserable existence.
One of the most difficult scenarios is cheating out of spite or revenge, as this situation may be doomed from the beginning. Even though two wrongs never make something right, you share equal blame with your partner. This will take a great deal of discussion and perhaps professional guidance.
Issues with Trust
Trust may be very elusive for a long time, and it may never fully return. When someone cheats of you, they now have to earn that trust over a long period of time. However, once you reconcile, do not bring the matter up again, and consider it a closed issue. As part of your terms, let your spouse or partner know that you reserve the right to leave if this current situation does not work out. At some point, you may decide that it is not worth the effort, and you should leave.
Final Thoughts
If someone cheats on you, it is important to know the real reason why. This will determine the best strategy for dealing with the problem. A one night stand may be easier to deal with than a long term affair. You must set specific boundaries on issues of trust, and he or she must know that it will never again be tolerated. You may eventually be able to forgive and trust this person, in the future. However, you may decide to change your mind and leave, so give yourself that option in the beginning. These tips may help you learn how to survive an affair.
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For additional advice on getting over an affair, go to http://GettingOverAnAffairYourHusbandHad.com
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