9/6/11

The Easy Way to Trust After You've Been Hurt

By Alex Haight


Trust issues in a relationship are not rare. Of course , whether it was in your current relationship or in a past relationship, who hasn't been hurt at some specific point? I'm afraid to say that part of being human is to get injured at some specific point in your life. The point though isn't to use your past injuries as an excuse to build a shell around your heart, but rather as a method to learn how to be vulnerable and trust again regardless of the fact you could get hurt.

Here are a couple of tips that you can use to help restore trust in your relationship.

First off, have a fair talk about the difficulty. If you were hurt by your partner, have a chat with them about how that made you feel. The first step of healing is to be open and show your emotions. Trust issues tend to revolve around privacy and withheld info. Opening up is a method to reverse this pattern.

It can help if your partner apologizes to you, but this should come from them and it shouldn't feel as if they are being compelled to do so.

Next, it may also help if you are able to drop the role of a victim. I understand that having the trust ruined by something such as an affair can actually do a number on you, but if you actually want to recover you need to be willing to let go of the hurt.

Don't be afraid to fully express your feelings. This is healthy and it will keep you from bottling them up and harboring antagonism. By expressing your feelings you are helping yourself let go of the feelings of betrayal you might be feeling. If you need to, consider starting a personal development plan to help you overcome your own limiting beliefs.

Next, start practicing transparency in your relationship. You and your companion need to begin being fully clear in everything you do.

Note that regardless of if your companion violated your trust, you need to be transparent too. This is something that both of you need to do together, and not something that you force on your partner as a kind of punishment or humiliation.

Last, notice that rebuilding trust will take time. This is not something that will come immediately. You can break trust in a moment, but it takes real time and devotion to rebuild the trust.

Continue to practice transparency in your relationship and slowly the trust will start to come back. It'll initially be small things, but with continued work it will start to encompass bigger and larger things until you and your other half can absolutely trust each other again.

Again, trust is something that takes consistent effort and work to rebuild. If you would like to restore the trust in your relationship, you will need to be truthful with your affections, express your emotions and let go of the agony, practice transparency in your relationship, and have the forbearance to continue working on your relationship till the trust begins to come back by itself.




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